So today I went to the new singles ward that was just organized in my stake. My mom encouraged me to go and check it out and decide if I wanted to stick with the one I'm in, or move on to this new one. Well I went, and hated it. I was probably the oldest one there. Everyone was 21-23 and here I come, 26. So I was thinking, Oh well, I'm here, I might as well attend one meeting, and sat down. The sacrament meeting was good. I've always loved listening to President Call talk, but it was afterwards that things got annoying. To all you single guys out there, just because a girl is over 22 and not married, doesn't mean there's something "wrong" with them. A few guys came up to talk to me, and as soon as they found out how old I was, the conversation ended. They started waking off mid sentence. It was really rude. Is there some code or something that says your not allowed to even socialize with someone who is out of your "preferred age range?" I really don't think 26 is that old, but for some reason, in Utah singles wards, it's ancient. I never had these kind of issues when I lived with Sarah in Oklahoma. There were much older singles in the ward I was in out there, and there wasn't any pressure to get married so young. What is it with Utah?
Christmas Part 3
12 years ago
3 comments:
Well, cheesepuff, I can say I understand...to an extent.
I was single until I was 27 3/4 years old, so I know what it is like seeming 'ancient' to everyone. Heck, I graduated from BYU single, and according to good ol' brother Brigham, "a man 26 and unmarried is a menace to society." Well, here I am almost 28, finally married, and still a menace to society.
But in all seriousness, go with your gut, and attend other wards. I doubt your "eternal companion" is waiting in our home stake...that would be kinda weird. And not all of the wards are gonna be like the new one. The one Johanna and I met in had some 30+ year olds in 'em, and they were among the most popular in the ward.
I hear ya Yiz. There is a different mentality in Utah. And by living outside of Utah, you learn to appreciate that not everywhere (specifically in the CHURCH) are people over 25 and single considered odd. People can be SO VERY JUDGMENTAL. It's like there is a standard in "Zion" (read: Utah) that must be followed. Yes, I will include the disclaimer that you can find Utah singles wards here-and-there of good laid-back accepting folks of any age. I think there are 2 of them in existence ;). But as a GENERAL rule, Utah Singles wards are indeed a Meat Market for the young.
For instance, take the 29 year old single church member:
IN UTAH: "How OLD is she?" "So, why isn't she married yet?" "Is she divorced or something?" "I wonder what must be wrong with her, if she scares guys away". "She must not be putting for the effort". "Maybe she doesn't want to be married" "It is my solemn testimony that if we live our lives right, the Lord will lead us to our Eternal Companion....maybe she needs to make some changes in her life first".
ANYWHERE ELSE: "Hi, how's it going? So where did you go to school? Where do you work? Are you dating anyone from around here? (insert YES or NO answer here) That's cool. Want to hang out with me and my friends?" (notice that nobody asked how old she was...cuz nobody CARES!!!!!)
Since you have lived in both Utah and out of state (Oklahoma), and have attended several singles wards in your travels....I'm sure you understand exactly what I'm saying. I feel for ya! Just keep your chin up, and don't let anyone else's opinions of your age and marital status ruffle your feathers. Just have fun and be yourself.
Just my thoughts...I would advise not just staying in the home ward we grew up in. Regardless of whether or not you're wanting to find Mr. Right, there is no adventure or growth happening by staying in the Home Ward. I'd rather be very Single and experiencing life to the fullest, than simply stagnant and going to church with Mom and Dad because your comfortable with the good ol' families from the home ward. Just my 2 cents!
Oh lizzy! That is sooo rude... but just for a boost of confidence... my sister is 26(27 this November) and she is marrying a 21 year old! it happens... You are beautiful and the right guy won't care about your age! And you may end up finding him in the least suspecting place too! Or he could be in Oklahoma! :) Just because I still love Oklahoma!
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